Out of here

I have this deep need to flee. To take a vacation. Be somewhere else and be someone else, just for a while.....To escape all the stresses of my life. Eek. Now I'm starting to sound like a Club Med commercial. Mmmmm...Club Med...that'd be nice...sitting on the beach, drinking something with an umbrella in it....having a cute cabana boy rub sunscreen on my back.....

So much has gone wrong lately that I'm begininng to feel like a failure in many aspects of my life- career, love, friendship, etc....

2 Things

1. Another death in the family. At least he lived a long and full life until his 90's. He was in the Dutch Royal Air Force and moved to Israel back when it was still Palestine. He worked on putting together the planes (literally, piece by piece) during the Independence Day War in 1948. He also met and married his wife during the war (siege of Jerusalem, I believe).

2. Think I might be moving back to NY sometime in the fall.

Movie Madness

Movies I will admit to liking:

• Police Academy 1-6
• Moving Violations (starring Bill Murray's little brother, Dana)
• Earth Girls Are Easy
• Rocky Horror Picture Show (I was even known to frequent the midnight showings on Saturdays in Paramus while in hs)
• Adventures in Babysitting
• Drumline
• Major League
• Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle
• Super Troopers
• WarGames
  

*slightly off topic yet too funny not to include somehow, the prize for the least creative porno name goes to Fornicating Outdoors (I haven't actually viewed it, but saw it in a porn shop once)

Cat Burgler & Other Laughs

Via the Best of Craigslist

• This is both funny and scary, but worth a read
• King of the (goldfish) castle
• Never get a waxing from The New Girl
• Kitty + porn = exhibition
• The language of Craigslist
• The reality of being an intern on Capitol Hill
• The Dukes go to Nigeria

I Love Rock N Roll

I went to see Joan Jett and the Blackhearts on Saturday night. She played a free concert at a local dog track (yes, dog track...But not just any dog track, this one has slot machines!) here in southern New England. The do a free summer concert series in the month of July. It was a nice cool night, the sky was a beautiful navy blue and the weather cooperated.
It was a fun show with a pretty decent opening act. There were all sorts of people there- middle aged parents with their kids, GLBTQ of all ages, rednecks, tattooed bikers decked out in OCC and Harley gear, senior citizens, I think that some of the slots addicts from the casino even ventured outside for it. Everyone seemed in the mood to rock. And rock we did.
Joan Jett and the Blackhearts sounded really good and rather clear, considering that this was an outdoor concert. I could've sworn it was like having her CD playing in the background. They debuted some songs off their new album, Naked. It was really amusing to see all of the diverse people described above bopping and with their fists pumping to songs with titles like Androgynous (really upbeat song) and Fetish (containing lyrics like "get off having rough sex", "relax while I pound your ass", and "its time to be my dog"). I had to wonder if they were even listening to what she was singing.

City Housing Authority Bans Kiddie Pools

OK. I can see why the residents are upset. I can also see why the housing authority might do this. They don't want some unsupervised kid to drown and then the parents sue the city.

I have a simple solution- buy a sprinkler. You can't drown in a sprinkler.

Family Tree

I think that one of the projects that I will work on during my unemployment, other than finding a new job and finally cleaning out my closet, is a family history. Wish me luck as I now embark on an investigation of how to best go about this.

Nature

I am not nature girl. I like to look at it. But I don't like it on me.
My roommate wanted to go hiking at Weetamoo Woods in nearby Tiverton, RI. Note the part of the descriptions that says "Miscellaneous Information: Early Summer is a brutal time for bugs. Bring plenty of bug spray and wear light colored clothing." He forgot to mention that part to me. Minus the many, many, many bugs it was a nice walk. I got some good pictures.

Out

I've begun outing myself to some close friends and family. Or rather outing my new blog, Involuntary Slacker, so that they can be updated on my job situation. And inevitably they find this blog. So I guess that makes me out.
I'm not sure how I feel about this...Especially since I know that they might even be reading this right now....about my ambivalence.....
I guess if the pressure mounts I can go underground or something.

Tassels and Heckling- Or How I Spent Last Sat. Night

That was my night last Saturday.

But let me start at the beginning. My trek into the wilds of NYC city began when my friend, Dan, and I went to visit my cousin, also named Dan ( who will henceforth will be referred to as Dan 2) at his UWS apartment. The three of us went for a walk in Central Park. It was lots of fun. I hadn't been to the boat pond since I was a kid. Then we went to the summer stage area and listened to a bit of a free concert by this Brazilian band.


Two friends and I started that night at a fabulous little (and I mean little, we ate at the counter that doubles as the cash register/wait station/glass storage area) called Jeeb on the LES. Dinner for 3 for under $40. Really good, really fresh food. None of the mango chunks in my salad were mushy.

Then the three of us moved on down the street to the Slipper Room.
Fun factoid- the Slipper Room is the present day location of a ladies hosiery store called Bundy's Undies* that was owned by my friend, S's, grandfather back in the day. They had a $4 margarita special that night. Not bad. Then, the entertainment began. There were some cute gogo dancers and then the emcee came out. He danced around for us in a Wonder Woman costume. And boy did he fill it out nicely. There were some good burlesque performers, all beautiful. The only problem of the night arose when my friend S had a bit too much to drink and began to heckle the emcee. Oy vey. He finally turns to her and says "are you going to be that person that I'm going to make fun of all night?". She said something like "but I'll give you good material". She thought it was fun. He did not. Dan and I glanced at each other, each of us mouthing "its time to leave soon".
Note- the bathrooms at the Slipper Room are downstairs. The one all the way at the end has a hole in the stone wall behind the toilet. In a tequila fog I kept thinking that something was going to burst out of there like in a bad horror movie.

Soon it was onto another friend's apartment on the UWS to rescue C from studying himself into a tizzy for his upcoming bar exam. We went to the nearby Dive Bar. I had a good time there. Not too pretentious, fun atmosphere, good drinks.





*A play on his last name. Or a derivative of.....

Sleeping On A Jet Plane

This was inspired by my comment on Todd's experiences on a recent flight.


A few years ago, coming back from visiting my dad in the hospital in Michigan on Xmas Eve, I had the seatmate from hell. It was a large plane that had two seats on each side (a 727?). I got the window. I thought I'd scored. I mean, who else flies on Xmas Eve? Imagine my dismay as the plane filled up and this guy sits down next to me who smells like a distillery. Not only is he drunk as a skunk but he yaps away while totally violating my personal space bubble- about his martial problems, about how he is a pediatric oncologist (sad job, I see why he might drink), about how he is related on his wife's side to John Paul DeJoria (of the Paul Mitchell hair care line) who has a home in RI.

Bad right? It gets worse. He falls asleep in his aisle seat. I am trapped. His drink somehow spills all over the floor and near my stuff under the seat. This is not a nap. He is heavily alseep and snoring lightly. And then in his drunken sleep somehow ends up cuddling up to my shoulder. Ick. I keep trying to squirm away, but that only ends up giving him more space to pretend that he was in his bed. I am now smooshed against the window. The flight attendants keep passing by and giving me sympathetic looks ("poor girl, that drunk passed out on her").
Thank goodness for that bumpy landing or I think he never would've woken up. I could not get up the jetway fast enough.

Mother's Milk

Breast feeding in shul. I'm all for breast feeding. I don't believe mothers should be hidden away when the action is so natural. In fact, one of my earliest memories of Central Park involves visiting it with my older cousins, both mothers of small babies. We were on the Great Lawn and they were breast feeding. My grandmother wondered aloud if this was the best place to do it. They assured her that it was fine. In fact the week before they'd been there together and two women wandered by and the four of them began discussing the best kinds of nursing bras.

However, there is a time and place to be more private about it. And a house of worship is one of those places. One year my mom came up to visit me at school during Rosh haShana and we went to the local Reform service in town to check it out. An overall fine experience, except for the woman who breastfed next to me during the service. I found it distracting to my prayers. I mean, she probably wouldn't have done that if we were all there for a funeral service.
As one nursing mother says:

I think it would be distracting in synagogue, and I'm not sure that it's the best thing for the rest of people in this environment, especially people of another generation, she said. I would remove myself from the sanctuarywouldn'touldnt be bothered if other people breast-fed. Its a decorum thing for me.


I'm all for nursing. It's healthy for babies and is a great way for mother and baby to bond. But there's a time and a place for everything. We make sacrifices when having children, perhaps missing a few minutes of a service to discreetly nurse your child is one of those things.


I wonder what Miss Manners would say?

I'm a statistic! I'm a statistic!

For your viewing pleasure....

...some photos from the wedding I attended this past Sunday at the Clubhouse at Patriot Hills.


It was my first interfaith wedding. The officiant was listed as "Father" something on the program. I assumed he was a priest (who could also chant beautiful Hebrew blessings, as this was an interfaith ceremony). Turns out he wasn't a priest. He told the bride's mom he can be whatever you want him to be. Not sure what he is affiliated with. Maybe it was the Church Of I-Got-Ordained-On-The-Internet? (I mean no offense to any internet ordained ministers).

The wedding itself was a nice affair. The food was OK. I was seated with the other children of the friends of the mother-of-the-bride. That part was fun as I hadn't seen Nicole, Lisa, and their brother David in a while. I also got ot meet Nicole's new husband. We were also seated with the bride's two cousins (one of whom was not asked to be in the wedding party while the other one was. Hmmm....). They were just about as friendly as they used to be when were were kids, which is to say, not very friendly.

The bride and groom seemed to be enjoying themselves and that's what counts, right?

Back Online

I'm back at home with the cable modem. I missed my cable modem. And my laptop. And my TiVo.
My trip to New York was fun. That wedding I went to was not. More on them tomorrow once I've finished unpacking and catching up on my email.

Overheard

I was at an outlet center somewhere in CT today and overheard two employees in their 20's talking:

Girl: "....Winston Churchill! I mean, who is that?!"
Guy: "I don't Know"
Girl"Is he like a news anchor or something?"

Sad, sad, sad! How could they not know who Churchill is?!

Hi, My Name is Lyss....

...and I'm a media addict.

They say the first step to conquering an addiction is to admit that you have one. I do. I miss my media. My mom's house is so low tech. I was watching School of Rock and wanted to find out some info about the movie. If I were back home in New England I'd just reach over and turn the laptop on. But here in NY the slow as molasses computer is in another room far from the lone DVD player. Not that I live in a palace out in New England, it's just that we have consolidated most of the good media stuff to one room. Far easier for multi-task loving ADDers like myself.

Random thought- Jack Black is an incredibly cool Jew.

My first meme

(Hope I don't screw it up).

Courtesy of Esther.

10 Years Ago: 1995- Stuck at Frisch. I don't understand those people who want to relive HS (Like Rob Geller in Never Been Kissed). No good thoughts on this topic right now.

5 Years Ago: 2000- summer before my seniopr year of college. It was a good summer. I was a tour guide in the admissions office of Ithaca College. Walking that many times around campus a day left me in the best shape I think I've been in my life. I looked goooood. More importantly, I felt good.

1 Year Ago: Working a lot. Trying to escape the heat. Preparing for the July 17th wedding of friends Laura and Paul.

Yesterday: Drove down to NY.

Today: Currently-sitting at the library typing this b/c my mom has dial up. Got up. Showered. Ran errands. Watched School of Rock. (Cute movie, I highly recommend it for a feel good time on a dreary day such as this).

Tomorrow: Getting a manicure for the wedding I'm attending on Sunday. Going to the big Apple. Maybe meeting up with Esther.

5 snacks I like: carmel popcorn, cheese puffs, sushi, apples

5 bands most of whose lyrics I know: Indigo Girls, Aerosmith, the Boss. I know that's only three, but I'm bad with lyrics.

5 things I would do with $100 million: 1. buy a new car, 2. give money to the Ithaca College Art History Dept for a new building (which they could, of course, name after me if they choose to) so that they no longer need to reside in the basement of Gannett Library, 3. take my mom on a grand tour of Europe and see all the great art and architecture,4. donate money to creat programs and initiatives designed to get young-ish Jews (think 20's and 30's) more involved into the community without making them feel like an ATM (I'm the future. If you want me to marry Jewish and have Jewish babies you gotta get me now)., 5. go to Iceland. I hear they worship dark haired curvy babes like me there :-D

5 locations I'd like to run away to: Iceland, Japan, Israel, England, Italy

5 bad habits I have: being impatient, shoe obsession, procrastination, don't always listen when I should, picky eater

5 things I like doing: watching TV, things on the internet, rediscovering the creativity within me, discovering new beautiful places, looking at houses (I'm an architecture geek)

5 things I would never wear: pasties, spike heels (I'd fall over in a second), crocheted vests, the color orange, anything chenille

5 TV shows I like: ER, L&O (regular and SVU), Gilmore Girls, CSI, West Wing

5 movies I like: Happy Texas, Apocalypse Now: Redux, Spinal Tap, Best in Show, Princess Bride

5 biggest joys at the moment: not having to be anywhere at 9 am each weekday, the upcoming wedding of an old friend, good friends, the health of my family, my new shoes

5 favorite toys: iPod, digital camera, TiVo, laptop, cell phone

5 people to tag: (please don't hate me):

Todd of Chasing the American Dream
Ann at For The Long Run
Chaim from Life of Rubin
Passionate Life (beacuse he needs something to distract him right now)

(I can only think of four right now b/c there is some guy staring over my shoulder, drooling for me to be done with this library computer....)

The Chosen Bloggers

What a great article by Chayyei Sarah on the world of Jewish blogging and the general state of Jewish generational access to our religion.
I like the Jewish blog-o-sphere because it is a mix of all kinds of Jews. I like that I can feel a sense of community with them because we are all Jews. I live in a city with a fairly large Jewish community (we even have one shul here with about 1000 families. 1000. Where I grew up they would've had a schism about something back around family 445). As a single woman in my 20's I often feel only tangentially connected to my community here (seems to be a theme with me today). Sure I may serve on the board of a local organization (and I'm lucky, since they actually listen to what I have to day most of the time) and and sometimes partake in activities put on by our local pseudo-singles group. But it all seems so shallow sometimes. I like being able to know what people really think about their brand of Judaism. And the anonymity on the internet gives them that freedom. (I have to admit that I've gotten less and less anonymous as this blog has evolved).


(Thanks RenReb)

Thoughts On My Yeshiva Past

I was never the most popular girl in high school. I was pretty, but definitely spent some of those years going through an awkward stage. It didn't help that my cousin went to a nearby boys yeshiva where he played on sports teams and was a total chick magnet. Girls used to come up to me in the hallway and ask "are you John Doe's cousin? He's so hot!". I never really knew how to respond appropriately to that. Should I have said "thanks" like I'm taking the credit for him being hot? I wasn't really going to agree with them, I mean, he's my cousin. Ick! This is not Kentucky.

Anyway, I've been thinking back to high school lately ( probably from all the free time on my hands due to my unemployment). Like I was saying, I was not really popular. Not sure if I wanted to be. A lot of the popular kids seemed* kind of shallow. Funny, considering it was a yeshiva, where one is supposed to learn about the value of spirituality and how it can separate us from the amoral and secular world. Sure they were observant. But when someone who is usually up on their moral high horse asks to cheat off you on the upcoming social studies test I wondered if they realized the hypocrisy of their own actions?

I had my friends whom I loved dearly. Too bad we don't really speak anymore. I guess we live in different worlds. I had three best female friends. When we graduated I went off to Ithaca and the three of them attended Rutgers together. We spoke occasionally and saw each other on breaks, but as time wore on we lost touch. I'd hear snippets of news about them through my family (the northern NJ Jewish grapevine is amazing in its reach sometimes). The last time I saw two of them was when they came to see me when was sitting Shiva for my father. A nice gesture. I hoped that we would be more in touch after that but it hasn't worked out that way. I miss them. They all stayed in the NY metro area while I went upstate and then off to New England. I sometimes think that since my parents were not Othrodox and I didn't grow up in the Teaneck/Englewood/Fair Lawn triangle it was easier for me to get out, so to speak. Despite spending something like 60% of my time in high school in Teaneck at my aunt and uncle's house I was a visitor to their world, living on the fringes. I didn't come from Moriah or Yavneh like the majority of my classmates did (the rest of us were a mix of RGHDS (where I had gone), Solomon Schechter of North Jersey, ASHAR, public school, Kushner, YNJ, and SAR). I was an outsider from day one simply because I was not as observant as the bulk of my classmates, I pronounced my my Hebrew words correctly (Bereshit, not Bereshis), and I was not in the Kollel level classes (which meant staying extra hours after school on Thursdays, not appealing to someone who lived 45 minutes away with the awful NJ traffic).

Though I didn't love it at the time I suppose that being an outsider taught me how to survive when you're the one labeled different. It gave me strength and taught me that being who I am is more important than being who someone else wants me to be. My friend, L, put it this way in an email: "You're not afraid to let people know who you are off the bat and you don't compromise who you are for whose company you're in".


*I am not saying that all the popular kids were X, Y, or Z...just writing about the way things seemed to me.

{Also can be seen at Jewish Connections}

Exciting New Blog!

Week 1 of unemployment has reared its ugly head. To cope, I'm chronicling my adventures in a new blog called Involuntary Slacker.

Nontraditional Love Story

I just finished watching Hannibal and find it (along with the prequel to it, Silence of the Lambs) a rather touching, if unusual, story of love and devotion. Hannibal Lecter, the voracious cannibal who feeds one unlucky victim pieces of his own post-lobotomy brain, obviously has no problem killing those he deems rude or unnecessary. He has ample opportunity to kill FBI Agent Clarice Starling but rather seeks to destroy those who try to destroy her. Lecter not only rescues her from man-eating boars, he also performs surgery to remove a bullet from her shoulder (as opposed to carving her up so that he can eat her liver with some "fava beans and a nice Chiante"). And then in the end* of Hannibal he makes an ultimate sacrifice of his own blood and body so that one of them may escape. If cutting off your own hand rather than that of a federal officer whose goal in life it is to curtail your freedom is not an act of love, then I don't know what is.

You may think I'm crazy. But I see characters who have a mutual respect for civility and manners (lest we forget that Lecter also nevers dines on Barney, his caretaker at the asylum) and for each other. The relationship might also be described as "equal parts antagonism and seduction". Though I much prefer the chemistry and tension that Jodie Foster and Sir Anthony Hopkins shared, Julianne Moore does a respectable job of mental sparring with the brilliant and vicious cannibal. It is indeed some sort of take on a tragic love story. I'm not an English scholar but the Starling/Lecter dynamic does remind me of the kind of chaste, love-from-afar relationship that one might read about in a novel by Bronte, Austen, or one of their contemporaries.


*I have just found out that the ending of the novel differs from the film in a drastic way. It was rewritten because in the original ending of the book Lecter abducts Clarice, brainwashes her, and they go on to live as lovers. (This greatly upset some of author Thomas Harris' fanbase). Just goes to show that sometimes the movie is better than the book.